Bye Bye Benares
I'm leaving Varanasi in less than 2 days. This last week I have been circling the city running last minute errands, saying goodbyes, and doing my favorite things and seeing my favorite places one more time. This afternoon I will say goodbye to my kids at the Guria Non-Formal Education center after performing a dance (yay Bollywood). Tomorrow I will say goodbye to my host family and the friends in my house, and then get on a train headed for Delhi.
How do I feel now that I'm about to leave? The short answer is weird. It's surreal. I've been here since September, so now it's hard to picture a day where I don't get up, head to Sanskrit class, painting class, and then get on my bike to go to Guria. I'm comfortable here now. I was shocked and overwhelmed when I first arrived. I didn’t speak much Hindi besides “yah kya hai?” What is this? and “yah kursi hai” This is a chair. I was quiet and not so comfortable around my host family and at my work site. I didn’t see myself ever building up enough immunity to try the fruit juice sold on the side of the road. And April 17th, my date of departure, seemed very far away.
Fast forward to the present, seven months later, I can argue with rickshaw drivers pretty effectively, in fact a few of them know who I am and avoid me. I speak to my friends that only speak Hindi about more than just the weather. I feel comfortable at my home stay. I love listening to my host dad tell jokes, watching serials with my host grandma and host sister, and attempting to learn how to make chipati and palak paneer among other Indian dishes from my host mom. I have found my best friends in Benares to be the Benares Hindu University girls that also live in my house, and now I can’t
imagine my experience here without them. Every day I look forward to seeing and talking to Ajeet Ji and Manju Ji at the Guria office and hanging out with the kids at the Non-Formal Education Center. Over these seven months a lot has changed. The weather, the seasonal fruits, the number of Indian pilgrims, and somewhere along the way, my level of comfort.
I'm busier than ever during these last 48 hours. I still have to finish some English posters, perfect a Bollywood routine, spend time with my family, and....pack (which is pretty necessary). I have a lot of stuff to do in the home stretch of time remaining, but I feel ready to go.
I feel ready because I think that, now, in a sense, I’ve accomplished what I wanted to accomplish here. I never approached my Bridge Year experience prior to my arrival in India with a set idea of goals or an even somewhat concrete idea of how these nine months would play out. I know that when I leave Benares in a week from now, it’ll be like leaving home. I have a family, friends, favorite things, and a life here. I’m going to miss every little piece of Benares from the herds of water buffalo that halt traffic to the children at the center that inspire me on a daily basis. The point is, leaving is going to be really hard. But when I think about that, I know that I’ve come here and accomplished what I really wanted to accomplish. My Hindi is not flawless, I have not changed the world of human trafficking, and I still don’t understand a lot about Hindu culture. But I am leaving a life behind here, and I can’t wait to come back.
Lots of love,
Ada
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P.S. I apologize if this post is a little hard to understand or anything, I wrote it in a rush.
.JPG)
I'm leaving Varanasi in less than 2 days. This last week I have been circling the city running last minute errands, saying goodbyes, and doing my favorite things and seeing my favorite places one more time. This afternoon I will say goodbye to my kids at the Guria Non-Formal Education center after performing a dance (yay Bollywood). Tomorrow I will say goodbye to my host family and the friends in my house, and then get on a train headed for Delhi.
How do I feel now that I'm about to leave? The short answer is weird. It's surreal. I've been here since September, so now it's hard to picture a day where I don't get up, head to Sanskrit class, painting class, and then get on my bike to go to Guria. I'm comfortable here now. I was shocked and overwhelmed when I first arrived. I didn’t speak much Hindi besides “yah kya hai?” What is this? and “yah kursi hai” This is a chair. I was quiet and not so comfortable around my host family and at my work site. I didn’t see myself ever building up enough immunity to try the fruit juice sold on the side of the road. And April 17th, my date of departure, seemed very far away.
Fast forward to the present, seven months later, I can argue with rickshaw drivers pretty effectively, in fact a few of them know who I am and avoid me. I speak to my friends that only speak Hindi about more than just the weather. I feel comfortable at my home stay. I love listening to my host dad tell jokes, watching serials with my host grandma and host sister, and attempting to learn how to make chipati and palak paneer among other Indian dishes from my host mom. I have found my best friends in Benares to be the Benares Hindu University girls that also live in my house, and now I can’t
imagine my experience here without them. Every day I look forward to seeing and talking to Ajeet Ji and Manju Ji at the Guria office and hanging out with the kids at the Non-Formal Education Center. Over these seven months a lot has changed. The weather, the seasonal fruits, the number of Indian pilgrims, and somewhere along the way, my level of comfort.
I'm busier than ever during these last 48 hours. I still have to finish some English posters, perfect a Bollywood routine, spend time with my family, and....pack (which is pretty necessary). I have a lot of stuff to do in the home stretch of time remaining, but I feel ready to go.
I feel ready because I think that, now, in a sense, I’ve accomplished what I wanted to accomplish here. I never approached my Bridge Year experience prior to my arrival in India with a set idea of goals or an even somewhat concrete idea of how these nine months would play out. I know that when I leave Benares in a week from now, it’ll be like leaving home. I have a family, friends, favorite things, and a life here. I’m going to miss every little piece of Benares from the herds of water buffalo that halt traffic to the children at the center that inspire me on a daily basis. The point is, leaving is going to be really hard. But when I think about that, I know that I’ve come here and accomplished what I really wanted to accomplish. My Hindi is not flawless, I have not changed the world of human trafficking, and I still don’t understand a lot about Hindu culture. But I am leaving a life behind here, and I can’t wait to come back.
Lots of love,
Ada
\
P.S. I apologize if this post is a little hard to understand or anything, I wrote it in a rush.
.JPG)
